


Don't Rock The Boat

by QWERTYouAndMe



Category: Original Work
Genre: Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Denial of Feelings, F/M, Feelings, Gay Pirates - Freeform, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Internalized Homophobia, LGBTQ, LGBTQ Character, Letters, Lots of homophobia you get me, M/M, Metaphores, Pirates, Stupid Character, historical fiction - Freeform, historical innacuracy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-09
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2019-03-15 23:19:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13623597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QWERTYouAndMe/pseuds/QWERTYouAndMe
Summary: Ezra Lizard lives with his father - Cliff Lizard - on a boat. They rarely see other people, rarely step onto solid ground, and recently, rarely get anything done.When his father decides they need a new person on board, he sends Ezra to kidnap a criminal from the next prison they stop near. Only, instead of a hardened murderer or a fearless thief, Ezra manages to capture the most cowardly prisoner in the whole building: Jasper Raegan.By the time they find out, it's too late to go back.





	1. 1: In which you, the reader, meet them, the characters.

**Author's Note:**

> hi so this plot is full of holes and bunnies but idc ive wanted to write it for months, ao3, MONTHS.

To begin our story, we join Ezra Lizard, who is seventeen years, four months and twenty-six days old. He lives on a boat with his father, Cliff Lizard.  He is also something of our protagonist. We will talk more of him later, but first, the other characters. See, reader, this is called a cyclical narrative, and I think you'll find it makes me very clever.

But back to the story.

Ezra's mother, Liz Clifford, lives on a small island, rarely communicating with her husband or her son. She has ash brown hair curled in ringlets that hang at her shoulders like little sausages, and warm russet eyes that light up when she smiles. She lives in a house large enough to accommodate her family if they were to ever return, and every time she hears of a ship docking on the side of the island she will run to the beach in a frenzy. But her boys are yet to come back. 

Despite her bitter loneliness, she is a kind woman. She walks along the promenade every morning to buy a handful of strawberries, which she gives to the children she tutors every afternoon. She is well known throughout town as generous and sage. 

Her skin is olive and her lips are rosy, and when she isn't ill her cheeks are full of colour. She is a rather beautiful woman, but has never taken another lover since her husband left for sea. She is ill more than she's healthy, embittered by her abandonment, but never lets it show.

Her husband, Cliff Lizard, is not _actually_ named Cliff Lizard. He is also not _actually_ married to Liz Clifford. He also doesn't care for his son that much anymore. His hands are nimble, scarred and can tie the quickest, sturdiest knots; they're always quick to dart to his sword. The man is cantankerous, ready to fight and shout at any obstacle, be it the weather, his son, or himself. At any little noise, his cognac eyes widen and he tenses, so ready for danger to be around every corner that he's become incredibly paranoid.

After a particularly abrasive quarrel with his - ahem - 'wife', in a fit of rage and fear, he had scooped up his infant son and bundled him onto the ship his father had gifted him some years prior. He took little more with him than his beloved child and some food, hoping to sail to a new island and begin life anew. Ezra would be too young to remember his mother, he could just lie to him. It would be for the better. 

He has developed a taste for life on the open seas, though, and now he and his child sail from island to island, sometimes doing crimes - but only for the adrenaline, but Cliff finds he much prefers the excitement of getting drunk and fighting someone, or bringing a woman back onto his boat and having his way. Ezra is less than pleased when this happens.

His chestnut skin is marred with scars from losing fights and getting stabbed - really well done, Cliff, honestly - and from his own recklessness and lack of sense of self-preservation (also his own lack of self-esteem, but he doesn't admit that one.) His hair hangs in thick, beaded locs down his back, tied back with the only piece of colour on the whole ship: a bright red rag. Ezra has a deep-rooted hatred for the damn thing that he cannot place.

Ezra is his father's dead spit.From his eyes to his lips to his voice, if Cliff didn't have so much more hair, they'd be indistinguishable. Ezra polices his hair because it's one of the only things he can control. He keeps it cropped short around his shoulders. Sometime's he'll tie it back with a length of cord, but only if it's hot or wet or windy, which means he almost always has his hair tied back. 

He's a kind soul, almost always throwing back the fish his father catches. He likes to talk to birds and insects, because he can't talk to anyone else. He has dreams of running, climbing trees, getting hurt. Often when they're docked he wants to run away, but he fears death; fears rejection. He never knows where they are: he could be ten feet away from his mother and not know it.

If there's one thing Ezra wants, it's to be free from his father, to live alone. He longs for friends, family, anything. He wants to cook himself dinner in a house, then go to sleep in a bed, and wake up after dawn. He wants to go out and walk down a road and buy food. And, you see, he thinks these things are unachievable. And, reader, I hate to tell you that he's probably right, because Ezra Lizard has big dreams and Cliff Lizard hates most things that aren't alcohol or women.

And that's just how it is.

That's the end of the chapter.

We're finished.

That's it.

There is no more.


	2. 2: In which you, the reader, is introduced to our other protagonist, and Ezra makes an error of judgement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi there

Our story finds us now several miles away from where it began, in the lowest cell in the darkest prison on an island called Dormere, in a quaint little mining town called Windbrook. Here, we are acquainted with Jasper Gomez, a foolish and aloof boy of about seventeen and about 6'2", and also something of our protagonist. We will talk more of him later, but first, some context. See, reader, this is called a cyclical narrative, and I think you'll find it makes me very clever.

I will preface this chapter, and perhaps this whole story, by telling you, as the reader, that Jasper is a very stupid person. He is not very clever - at all - in fact, he is rather the opposite of clever; he is quite dumb. He is not a smart boy. You will think this later, I assure you. I know he isn't very clever: I wrote the book.

Jasper is in prison because Jasper does crimes. He gets a kick out of stealing bread from bakers and fruit from grocers, because Jasper is an idiot. Later, he will revise this mentality, and get a kick out of something else instead - but we needn't worry about that because it hasn't happened yet, and so, for now, Jasper is just an idiot. 

Jasper's mother is a tailor: she sews clothes for the village. She is known far and wide for making stunning dresses - lace, ribbon, silk, you name it. Her name is Alicia Gomez-Frank; she kept her last name in homage to her mother, who raised her single-handedly. She is an average woman in all areas: height, appearance, personality. Her olive skin and forest green eyes are nice to look at, but none too beautiful. She can crack a joke, but only a few, and after that, she is rather boring, and bored herself. Her husband, Klarard Gomez, is the stalest, most boring man you can imagine. He is grey and balding at only thirty, worn thin by the stresses of family life. His dark eyes have darker bags beneath them, and his caramel skin is sagging and wrinkled. Alicia dreams of leaving him and running away to a wealthier, more powerful area, becoming the best seamstress around for miles - but it is just a dream. 

Jasper himself is lean - thin from running and climbing and jumping off things - because he is an idiot. He stares at the horizon when he can see it and dreams the days away. His hair is dark at the roots, but light at the tips, a result of too much sun and seawater. It just about touches the small of his back if he lets it down, but he keeps it tied up in a practical knot almost always. His father keeps meaning to chop it all off, but he never does. His eyes are wise beyond their years, deep and rich like honey, it's as if they hold the wisdom of all the men who came before. They're set just that bit too far apart on his thin, brown face, hidden under wide, dark eyebrows. His smile is honest, kind and genuine, thin lips and slightly stubbly chin, rosy cheeks and white, mostly-all-there teeth moving together just so: he is a walking sunset. Dazzling, glowing, attractive, with the ability to throw you off-kilter: it would all be lovely if he'd an ounce of sense.

The people of Dormere are known for being either absolutely perfect or filthy, hardened criminals.  This is why our very own Cliff Lizard thought it would be a perfect place to find a new 'shipmate', as he called it. They docked on the shore in the dead of night, and as they both piled onto the sand Cliff thrust a sack and bundle of rope into his son's hands, pointed to the prison and grunted,"Do what you can."

It was three and a half hours later that Ezra Lizard dragged the body of an unconscious Dormere prisoner onto the ship. He shoved the sack into a room they were supposed to use for storing 'treasure' - he was sure his father wouldn't miss it.

Surely, this is just a coincidence.

Unless you have read the book before.

Then you will know it is not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leAVE A COMMENT PLEASE I BESEECH YOU


	3. 3: In which Jasper has a rude awakening and is also quite alright about it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi please comment on this fic

Our story finds us now some hundred miles away from Dormere, aboard Cliff Lizard's ship. On this ship, there are five living things. Number one is Cliff himself. He is currently asleep, soon to be rudely awakened by both his hangover and one of the other living things on the ship. Number two, and most likely to be the living thing that wakes Cliff up, is Jasper. He has just realised that he is, in fact, no longer in Dormere, and as you can imagine is a tad upset about the matter. Number three is a rat that lives in the cupboard. It is irrelevant to the story, but I had to tell you about it because it fulfills the qualifications of being a living thing on the ship in that it is both alive and on the ship, and if I did not tell you about it and said there were only four living things on the ship, that would be lying, and lying is bad, so I told you about it. But it is not important, so you can forget about it now. Number four is a small plant. It is just a plant. There isn't anything special about it, it's really quite boring. Number five, of course, is Ezra, who is awake and rather alarmed at the fact that he can hear nothing. Usually, his father is there to scream him out of bed. Nobody is saying anything. It's quite odd, but it's a welcome change. 

For the first time in his life, Ezra Lizard decides to get breakfast. He slips quietly out of his room so as not to wake his father, and creeps to the 'scullery' - that's a kitchen, to you and me. He gets himself a hunk of bread and decides it will do, and is just about to turn around and go back to bed with his prize when-

"Uh, hey-"

Ezra screams. He cowers against the wall. There, in front of him, is a man. A tall man, at that, with hair piled on top of his head like a woman, but  _damn he's kind of making it_ _work,_  and a bit of a beard going on. This is an alright looking man. 

This man is eating an apple. Ezra has seen one of those before. Where did he even get that-

"Do you happen to know," he says, through a mouthful of apple, "why I am here?"

Ezra nods slowly. 

He says nothing.

"Like to elaborate?"

He coughs, nervous. "We kidnapped you," he blurts, mouth dry.

The man laughs. "Okay. Thank you." He says thank you too fast, like its all one word, like 'thankyou'. He also makes the 'you' all higher than the rest of the word so it's more like 'thankyOO'. Ezra feels himself getting flustered.

"We're pirates," he continues, stammering. "W-we'll kill you." His voice cracks.

The man chuckles again and takes a bite out of his apple. He stands up and wiped his hands on his shirt. "Sounds lovely. I'm Jasper."

"Ezra."

"Pleased to meet you, Ezra. Please don't kill me."

Ezra swallows, nodding minutely. "Okay."


	4. 4: In which Jasper becomes a bit less relaxed about the whole affair.

Our story finds us now with a very much awake and a very irate Cliff Lizard.

Jasper is - to put it lightly - cowering like a baby. Cliff is - to put it lightly - screaming at his son. 

Ezra, as usual, is just nodding and ignoring. 

"I give you one job!" he cries, spittle foaming at the corners of his mouth, "I say, get us a criminal! And what do you do? You bring back a- a- a  _child_ who's locked up for stealing fruit. Look me in the eyes, boy," he grabs Ezra by the front of his shirt, pulling him close to his face and snarling at him, "If I didn't need your hands around this ship I'd throw you off the side."

He suddenly lets go and Ezra tumbles to the ground. Cliff looks at Jasper with an air of disdain. "You'll have to do." And then, he's gone just as soon as he arrived. 

Jasper rushes to Ezra's side, kneeling down beside him. 

"What's his deal?"

Ezra laughs softly. "He's not so keen on me. But I keep messing up, it's my own fault."

Jasper swallows bitterly. "He seems like a lovely man. Could you tell me what exactly it is I'm going to be doing here?"

Ezra shrugs. 

There's a long silence.

Jasper stands up and stretches. "I'm gonna go jump in the sea and drown."

Ezra looks horrified. "Please don't."

Jasper winks.

**Author's Note:**

> please leave a comment i crave attention  
> also expect updates frequently :0


End file.
